Our entire family of 10 exchanges gifts for Christmas. A family has just given my son something that appears low-cost and was probably bought in a second-hand shop (and that's not the primary time).

He was indignant when he spent $ 100 for every of her members of the family.

I told him that he must be gracious and possibly spend less next 12 months, but he doesn't even want to offer them anything next 12 months.

Do you’ve got any advice for “very cheap” gifts (who’ve a pleasing assets)?

Dear re -recipient: If I understand that appropriately, every family gives the opposite branches of the family and their son was commissioned this 12 months to purchase on behalf of their branch.

If that’s true, I understand his frustration. (If this just isn’t the case and every body gives all 10 other people gifts, then I would really like to submit an application for admission to their family.)

If the opposite family thinks merciful (and what’s a present exchange, if not charitable), she could have chosen the used gift as something that her son would really like to have as a novel, even considerate gesture. But possibly they are only ruthless gift gifts. This is the chance we take after we make and accept gifts.

You can avoid this in the long run by determining a price limit for gifts and advising your son to adapt his expectations. Or you possibly can commission another person to purchase.

Dear Eric: I like my family. I went away because the gay black sheep, but I all the time tried to be the one who returns something.

I paid for the school and a doctorate. on your personal strength (scholarships and three jobs). Despite my overwhelming student lovers, I actually have sent several gifts to every family, despite my overwhelming study lovers. I paid my niece's RN program after my brother left her. I drive home every vacation, give more cash, spend time.

Now I'm at a break.

My father's alcoholism has gained the upper hand previously five years. I’m 45 and just exhausted and I need to make use of the vacations for myself, but that will likely be devastating for the family.

He will neither accept the anonymous alcoholics nor any help. He is a product of the Nineteen Fifties and experienced trauma after his own father died on the age of 12 by violent suicide with a firearm.

The undeniable fact that I gave you a lot time and money has led me to not have enough for a deposit for my home, regardless that I used to be reasonably successful. But I sparked these expectations, possibly because I desired to be the healer within the group.

How can I escape but be present, but let you realize that I can't all the time be there?

Dear healer: I say that with compassion: it’s time to stop attempting to get your personal family so as and heal yourself.

They describe themselves because the gay black sheep, so it is sensible that they react to feelings of rejection by trying to realize the love of their family through their achievements, to offer them money and sacrifice themselves.

But as you establish, this behavior doesn’t fill an emotional bank. It wastes time, money and energy.

When you speak to a consultant who works with LGBTQ+person, you’ll receive the tools to separate what belongs to you and what belongs to your loved ones. In therapy you too can have conversations that set higher limits. It won’t be easy and it won't all the time feel good, but with just a little practice you recover.

Even in case your father doesn’t go to the anonymous alcoholics, take a have a look at the groups al-anon (al-anon.org) or smart recovery family groups (smartrecovery.org). These groups can assist you to process your father's alcoholism and the inherited trauma. I also recommend the book “Codependent No more” by Melody Battle.

Select a limit at short notice with which you should experiment. Maybe there is no such thing as a checks, possibly a vacation is missing. Imagine the worst response to the setting of this border and ask yourself: “Will this reaction happen if it happens, destroy me or the family?” It won't. Healthy limits help everyone.

After you’ve got imagined the worst, define the border and stick with it. You may encounter resistance, but you furthermore mght get just a little freedom.

Dear reader: If you missed it on Tuesday: I actually have a brand new performance in Oregon on Portland Center Stage this evening. While my work on this column focuses on offering solutions, my work as a playwright is about causing fictional individuals with joy. This piece, “Mrs. Harrison”, Finds two supposed college friends who’ve an enormous problem and haven’t any option to solve it. It's funny, it’s concise, it's about 80 minutes long. If you’re in the realm, please take a have a look at it. I’ll participate in a panel discussion on Saturday, January 25, 2025 on Saturday, January 25, 2025.

Originally published: January 24, 2025 at 02:32 a.m. PST

Four years after Hilaria Baldwin and her husband Alec Baldwin were embroiled in a scandal over her alleged “decade-long scam” of faking a Spanish immigrant identity, the Boston-born influencer was caught last week speaking in a Spanish accent in a vacation video she prepared a conventional Spanish dish on your holiday guests.

Videos published from the Daily Mail and shared within the Hilaria Baldwin Reddit thread shows the mother of seven wearing a plaid romper and standing in her kitchen with friends, identified by her Reddit followers as a Colombian friend and his restaurateur husband. In the video, Hilaria Baldwin may be heard boasting in a performative Spanish accent concerning the authenticity of her recipe for Tortilla Española, or Spanish omelette, as she and one in every of the boys each prepare their very own version of the dish.

Hilaria Baldwin may be heard within the video, tell the boys“I learned that as a child. Don’t look it up online or you’ll learn something else.” At some point her voice also sounds childlike when she pronounces YouTube “JuTube.” She also said that the key to her tortilla is that the potatoes are “not cut too small.”

As she turns to the friend cooking next to her, Hilaria Baldwin seems to forget either the English or Spanish word for “onions.” While looking quizzically at her friend, she said, “My husband (Alec Baldwin) hates…Cebolla?”

This isn't the primary time Hilaria Baldwin has looked for a word for an ingredient and used a fake Spanish accent while being filmed cooking – as if attempting to persuade viewers or herself that English isn't her first language.

Most famously, Hilaria Baldwin appeared in a six-minute cooking segment on the “Today” show when she tried to persuade the general public that she was Alec Baldwin's glamorous Latina wife who was constructing a lucrative lifestyle brand. While demonstrating easy methods to make an “authentic” gazpacho, she named the ingredients she would use. But she made it sound like she had forgotten the English name of an ingredient.

“We have very few ingredients,” she told one in every of the hosts. “We have tomatoes, we have, um, how do you say in English? Cucumber!”

Baldwin was accused of cultural appropriation and impersonation in late 2020 after people on social media shared several, well-documented examples of her using a fluctuating Spanish accent in television or podcast interviews through the years. In these interviews and others for Spanish-language publications, she was also described as having been born in Spain, with Spanish family, or as a “native Spanish speaker.”

A video even surfaced of Baldwin attempting to mislead United Nations officials about her cultural identity in 2019. The video showed her speaking at a special United Nations session on healthy eating and the environment, where she allowed a senior public health official to discover her as “half-Hispanic.” She answered his questions with a soft Spanish accent and reinforced his belief that she grew up in Spain by speaking with seeming familiarity about that country's food culture.

Hilaria Baldwin, who married Alec Baldwin in 2012, was born and raised in Massachusetts and her parents were wealthy professionals. Apparently she commonly vacationed on the island of Mallorca, where her retired parents now live as expatriates.

After the scandal broke, Hilaria Baldwin admitted to being “a white girl” from Boston, but initially accused the media of falsely reporting that she was born in Spain, until it became clear that she had never made the trouble to correct the various reports.

More than six months later, she explained on Instagram that she was a “multi” who lived in “a brilliant fluidity” of cultural identities. In a lengthy post, she appeared to justify allegedly attempting to mislead people by adopting the language of groups which are truly marginalized in society due to their culture, language, religion, sexual orientation and gender identity.

“When you’re multi, it can be hard to fit in,” Baldwin said on the time. “You're constantly going back and forth, trying to be more this or more. You feel like you have to explain why you are the way you are, trying to fit into a world full of labels even though there may not be one that perfectly defines you.”

Baldwin continued: “We need to normalize the fact that we are all unique – our culture, languages, sexual orientations, religions and political beliefs are allowed to be fluid.”

When it got here to the Baldwins and the scandal in recent times, people's attention eventually turned from Hilaria Baldwin's Spanish cultural drama to the even greater controversy surrounding her husband. In October 2021, Alec Baldwin by accident shot camerawoman Halyna Hutchins on the set of his western film “Rust” in New Mexico. Baldwin became embroiled in civil lawsuits and attempts by Santa Fe, New Mexico authorities to prosecute him for involuntary manslaughter. Over the summer, a judge dismissed charges against Baldwin after ruling that prosecutors withheld evidence.

But the Hutchins tragedy didn't stop Hilaria and Alec Baldwin from pursuing a brand new skilled project together. They will star in a TLC reality TV show about their hectic lives as parents of seven young children. The show is predicted to air next 12 months.

When the couple announced the project in an Instagram video By June, Hilaria Baldwin's Spanish accent was gone. However, that didn't stop people in Alec Baldwin's Instagram video from asking, “Where did her Spanish accent go?!” Did she determine to quit the entire show after being outed? Lmao is smart.”

Even as Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are reportedly checking out the small print of their divorce, the previous supercouple seems determined to take care of an amicable relationship and met last weekend to exchange Christmas presents for themselves and their children.

And Affleck has been fascinated with his gift for Lopez, Page Six reported. The gift was nothing extravagant or intimate—not one other multimillion-dollar piece of bijou. Instead, it was something that might be meaningful to the megastar entertainer and even revealed a private obsession for her, based on Page Six.

The 52-year-old actor and director arrived on the members-only Soho House club in West Hollywood on Sunday carrying a black bag containing the gift – “a signed Marlon Brando book.” That's what sources who spoke to Page Six say, including the owner of Mystery Pier books, the famous bookstore in West Hollywood, where Affleck did some Christmas shopping.

“Ben gave Jennifer the book (Marlon Brando) because she is a fan, and her Super Bowl body was inspired by Marlon Brando,” a source told Page Six.

The source didn't name the “Marlon Brando book,” however the legendary star of “The Godfather” and “The Last Tango in Paris” published an autobiography called “Songs My Mother” in 1994, ten years before his death Taught Me.” in 2004 on the age of 80.

Like any writer, Brando signed copies of his book, at the least one in all which could have ended up at Mystery Pier Books. The internationally renowned Sunset Boulevard store is understood for its celebrity clientele and for exclusively selling “first edition and first condition” copies of collectible literature, including books signed by authors.

Meanwhile, Lopez's “Super Bowl body” likely refers back to the sexy, studded black leather bodysuit she wore to her performance on the Super Bowl LIV halftime show in 2020. It feels like the bodysuit was inspired by Brando's iconic outlaw biker look within the 1953 film The Wild One.

Starting in 1951, Brando became Hollywood's hottest and best-known young actor, starring in “A Streetcar Named Desire,” “On the Waterfront” and “The Wild One.” Subsequent generations of stars, from Al Pacino to Johnny Depp, have cited Brando as inspiration for his or her approach to acting in film.

It now appears that Brando was also an inspiration for Lopez, and Affleck thought Lopez would really like a book in regards to the two-time Oscar winner.

Signed copies of Brando's autobiography can sell for $600 or more on eBay. Of course, several hundred dollars wouldn't be considered extravagant within the Affleck-Lopez playbook.

Affleck reportedly spent greater than $7 million on two diamond engagement rings that he gave Lopez over the course of their two-decade love story.

They first made headlines as a pair in 2001 and got engaged before a significant, high-profile split in 2004. After the 2 rekindled their romance 17 years later, their love story reached its climax with their marriage in 2022. They first married by eloping in Las Vegas in July 2022, then married again in August 2022 in a lavish ceremony on the grounds of Affleck's Georgia estate.

But things went downhill from there, based on several reports. The couple separated in April 2024 and Lopez filed for divorce on the second anniversary of their reception in Georgia. Still, they’ve reportedly vowed to stay friendly, if just for the sake of their five children together.

Lopez shares 16-year-old twins Max and Emme together with her third ex-husband Marc Anthony. Affleck and his ex-wife Jennifer Garner are the parents of Violet (19), Seraphina (15) and Samuel (12). As Lopez and Affleck rekindled their romance, their children grew closer.

Page Six reported last week that the separated spouses need to remain “connected” during their divorce, though they seem to have celebrated the vacations individually. On Christmas Day, Lopez posted photos as she enjoys the vacations in Aspen with Emme and her sister Lynda Lopez.

“They have every intention of continuing to be involved in each other’s lives even if they don’t have a romantic relationship,” a source told Page Six. “Ben and Jennifer are still connected and they communicate when it comes to their children.”

The ex-partners even have “a mutual respect” for one another that “doesn’t go away overnight,” the source continued.

SAN FRANCISCO — LeBron James dribbled down the court on a one-man fast break before beating several Golden State defenders for an and-1 layup on the Warriors' vivid yellow court midway through the third quarter.

The scene, which Bay Area fans had seen dozens of times over the past decade, played out again on Christmas Day as James faced Olympic teammate Steph Curry and the Warriors.

After the Lakers withstood a last-second Curry bombardment and got a layup from Austin Reaves to win 115-113, James sat at his locker and had a succinct answer for why fans should hearken to the NBA within the midst of a rankings crisis .

“LeBron and Steph,” James said.

After James scored 31 points on Christmas Day and Curry starred in 38, it's hard to argue with the league's all-time leading scorer. But how long will it stay that way?

Although the teams will meet three more times throughout the regular season, the Lakers won a game that would go down in history as James' final Christmas Day showdown with Curry.

“I’m just enjoying the moment and being grateful,” James said. “I’m very grateful to give you the option to play the sport I really like on such an exquisite day. I had the luxurious of, I feel, playing for the nineteenth time on Christmas today. So you already know it doesn't come naturally to me to go up against one in every of the best players of all time and one in every of the best franchises since I've been within the league.”

Since James, who turns 40 on Dec. 30, has made public statements hinting at retirement over the past year, both he and the Lakers organization know that games like Wednesday's should be cherished.

“It was great and it was different,” Lakers coach JJ Reddick said. “Part of it is just him enjoying the moment. There aren’t many of those left, and that’s just the reality.”

The Lakers secured the win when Austin Reaves made a layup with one second left in the game. That shot came just six seconds after Curry made his second three-pointer in the final 12 seconds, a three-pointer that left James both angry and stunned.

“You have to take your hat off because he is a great player and you just have to take your hat off,” James said. “You feel like, '(expletive), in comparison with us, why?' But as a fan, you're like, 'How did he do this?' because he's special. You definitely have an appreciation for it.”

What was once a perennial Christmas Day barnburner from 2015 to 2018 has been renewed after a six-year hiatus.

On a day when the NFL aired two bloopers, James and Curry were the celebs of the NBA's signature Christmas spectacle. Again.

“I love the NFL, but Christmas is our day,” James said on ESPN after winning his record-tying eleventh Christmas game.

James' Cleveland Cavaliers and Curry's Warriors met in 4 consecutive Finals from 2015 to 2018, with the Warriors winning all but 2016, when James and Co. famously got here back from a 3-1 deficit to assert the primary and only title of the season Secured franchise.

Since then, the James-led Lakers have defeated the Warriors within the 2021 Play-In Tournament and the 2023 Western Conference Semifinals.

While the Lakers' win definitely didn't carry the stakes of that playoff series or the Finals of the late 2010s – the Lakers (17-13) and Warriors (15-14) are the seventh and eighth seeds within the Western Conference – , he didn't lack intensity.

After Anthony Davis left the sport with a sprained ankle in the primary quarter, the Lakers' ageless superstar needed to placed on a classic King James performance, scoring 31 points and providing 10 assists, just two days after posting a 28-point triple-double The Pistons had assembled against him.

The Lakers' lineup late in the primary quarter – young players Christian Koloko and rookie Dalton Knecht paired with mediocre veterans Gabe Vincent and Cam Reddish – was a setback for James' lack of a supporting solid in among the aforementioned Finals.

But that was just for a fleeting moment. Reaves began within the absence of injured guard and former Warrior D'Angelo Russell. He posted a 26-point triple-double and scored the ultimate 4 points to offer James the assistance he needed.

“It came to a hand that we trust,” said James, describing the last move. “The piece was designed for me and they doubled me in the top key, and it's always great to have great options on the floor at the same time. AR was in that position.”

James increased his Christmas Day points record (507) and games played (19).

How many more Christmas games will James play within the Bay Area against his team's superstar guard? That still must be clarified. But if this really was James and Curry's final duel on December twenty fifth, the pair's legacy is ironclad.

“Just like Magic and Larry in the 1980s and MJ in the 1990s and Kobe for a long time, they led the league in some ways,” Lakers coach JJ Reddick said. “The popularity, the growth and all of that is a big part of it.”

Originally published: December 25, 2024 at 9:01 pm PST

Patriots

Most children who’ve incurred the wrath of their parents are threatened with a lump of coal of their stockings at Christmas.

For Patriots wideout Kendrick Bourne, it was… a trash can?

“I have a funny one. My parents gave me and my brothers a trash can for Christmas. That was the worst,” Bourne told MassLive's Nick O'Malley about an unforgettable gift. “We needed it, though. We actually needed it for our room. So it was good.”

“Did your parents have a heart? That’s the next question,” one other reporter asked the veteran.

“Hardly,” replied Bourne. “We had to clean our room. I think they sent us a signal. It was the best gift, a gift we needed. But probably the worst gift at the same time.”

Bourne added that the gift didn’t include any extras or perks – comparable to gifts being put within the bin.

As blunt as his gift for criticizing the state of his bedroom was, Bourne still sees it as a fond memory – one which transcends the standard clichés of gifts like cleats, jerseys and other football gear.

“Crazy childhood,” Bourne said, laughing. “I love my parents. Shout out loud – Hello, Mom and Dad. I love you.”

Several of Bourne's teammates gave fairly standard answers when asked about gifts during the holidays.

“The best Christmas present I ever received? “Oh man, this is tough,” Hunter Henry said. “When I was young, I was a big jersey guy. I remember standing up and getting a Shaquille O'Neal jersey when I was young, when I was a huge basketball fan. I just remember being excited about the Shaquille O’Neal jersey.”

“Unlike Hunter, I would probably say probably an electric motorcycle,” Drake Maye added. “I got an electric motorcycle that I rode around the neighborhood.”

Holidays are sometimes portrayed as picture-perfect moments: families happily gathering around a table filled with seasonal favorites in an immaculate setting. For many parents, trying to satisfy such unrealistic expectations can undermine their self-esteem – and their sanity.

In the true world, after eight nights of Hanukkah, parents are juggling more activities than there are candles on the menorah. It's all too easy to fall into the survival parenting mode of just getting through the day. When these holiday cookies must be baked, there's no time to show a baby methods to crack an egg.

As moms ourselves, we understand that these occasions can feel like anything but a vacation. We are each Child psychologists And Mental health experts who work with children, young people and their families to support realistic and healthy parenting approaches. We know what's on parents' wish lists, and fortunately, that wish list is simpler to satisfy than many mothers and dads realize.

The current state of parenthood

US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy published a suggestion in August 2024 calls for a rapid revival of parental well-being. Murthy – together with scientists and oldsters – believes that the present stress of parenthood is seriously affecting the physical and mental health of caregivers.

Dr. Vivek Murthy expresses concern over reports that almost half of fogeys feel overwhelmed by stress most days.

Moms and dads today are busier and more isolated than ever before. According to a report released in April 2024 by the Bureau of Labor Statistics: each parents are working in nearly two out of three U.S. households headed by married couples. In single-parent households, the variety of working parents increases to simply over three out of 4 families headed by moms and over 4 out of 5 families headed by fathers.

Additionally, data from a 2022 Household Pulse Survey found that nearly all of parents – including 35% with children under 5 and 54% with children between 5 and 11 – haven’t any formal childcare support. This is undoubtedly not less than partly because of this increasing costs And increasing shortage of day care options.

Our experience as doctors and moms shows that between school and extracurricular activities, children are busier than ever before. It's no wonder parents go into survival mode and easily attempt to do whatever must be done and demand their children and others do the identical.

The Science Behind “Survival Parenting”

Our research shows that it is smart to simply concentrate on getting through the day together with your children associated with more stress and harsher parenting behavior.

When a mother or father is in survival mode, they usually tend to shout demands and criticize their children's behavior than to think concerning the impact of that behavior. Stressed parents can do it faster criticize little things that get in your way to attain immediate goals, corresponding to spilling flour on the ground. And they’re slower to acknowledge and acknowledge their child's strengths, corresponding to their interest in helping within the kitchen.

The result’s more stress and fewer joy in parenthood.

As is usually the case with good research ideas, this one arose from our own experiences. During the COVID-19 pandemic, we've found that even essentially the most well-meaning fathers and moms – including us – have struggled to flee the survival trap of parenthood given the isolation, over-scheduling, and stress of life. We were frantically attempting to get every day kept away from any support, so we urged our youngsters to rush up, stop dawdling, and never make mistakes. We lived moment to moment as an alternative of interested by the possible long-term effects of our behavior.

Recent epidemiological studies show that we weren’t alone – parents with children were and proceed to be at home depressed, anxious and burned out. These challenges negatively impact their relationships with their children and youngsters's mental health.

In fact, research from considered one of our team suggests that is the case with parents strong reactions to emphasize and experience symptoms of depression, Your children usually tend to have difficulties with coping with their strong emotions and depression.

Ironically, that is the precise opposite of what parents work so hard for.

Strategies for having fun with the vacations together with your children

Luckily, putting the enjoyment back into parenting this holiday season—and any time of yr—is simpler than most recipes on Pinterest.

In our research and clinical practice, we have now found some strategies that might help parents decelerate, get more rest, and attend to their very own needs. If you end up entering survival mode, it's time to step away from the to-do list and take a look at the next:

• Shift your pondering from reacting to what is going on to specializing in the larger experiences and the longer term you would like to create for yourself and your loved ones. For example, in case your goal is to enjoy time together with your child, try to incorporate them in the vacation preparations. If you remember what you actually need to perform with each activity, then the incontrovertible fact that the cookies are burned doesn't matter so long as you burned them together.

• Reconnect with your mates and family who’re also within the parenting shift to take pressure off one another, each physically and emotionally. This could mean cooking together, carpooling, or delivering coffee to a friend. Interacting with people you genuinely like for the needs of laughter, joy, and connection contributes significantly to overall well-being. Build time into your day—not per week or a month—to attach together with your social support system. Better yet, allow it to interchange an unnecessary to-do list task that’s draining you.

• Notice while you've gotten used to the dreaded “shoulds” – “I should be able to do all the cooking myself” or “I should be able to complete this task in an hour with two kids in tow.” “Shoulds.” ” may be motivating, but result in a way of parenting failure if you happen to don’t meet the standards you set. Instead, replace “should” with “I’m trying” or “would like,” corresponding to “I’m trying to finish wrapping presents today” or “I want to play with my child for 10 minutes uninterrupted.”

• Imagine what you would like your vacation – and particularly your relationship together with your child – to appear like in five, 10, and even 20 years. What do you see and listen to? Who 's there? How do people feel about one another and the way do they interact with one another? Future research from our team suggests that expanding time horizons and considering how current actions affect the longer term improves parenting behavior.

It's unlikely that in five years your kids will remember the cleanliness of the ground, but they’ll remember the emotions of the moment.

Memories of cookies unintentionally baked with salt as an alternative of sugar age higher when accompanied by laughter and love somewhat than frantic re-baking.

The secret is to take the pressure off surviving the moment and refocus on the longer term you would like to create.

Kate Middleton and Prince William latest Christmas card is an allusion to her Recovery after chemotherapy and the family’s “brutal” yr.

Unlike the Christmas cards of years pastWelcoming the 42-year-old Prince and Princess of Wales in 2024 shows a previously seen family portrait. This one, which shows the couple hugging and includes Prince George (11), Princess Charlotte (9) and Prince Louis (6), was made by her Announced in September that Kate was cancer-free and had accomplished chemotherapy.

“I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,” the cardboard reads.

(View the map here.)

The card is placed against the backdrop of a decorated Christmas tree with digital snow appearing to fall around it.

Kate announced in a poignant message on September 9 that she was cancer-free after an “incredibly hard” few months and was determined to remain that way.

Christmas 2023 was the last time Kate was seen in public before undergoing “successful” abdominal surgery. She was hospitalized in London concurrently her father-in-law, King Charles. By March, each had made their respective cancer diagnoses public.

“I am so proud of my wife, I am so proud of my father for mastering the things that they did,” said the heir to the British throne. “But from a personal family perspective, yes, it was brutal.”

Williams' comments come amid an ongoing feud together with his younger brother Prince Harry, who despite his best efforts is unable to return to the fold.

Although the Duke of Sussex, 40, visited Charles following his diagnosis, the King, Will and Kate all reportedly declined his invitation to rejoice the anniversary of the Invictus Games. In July, sources told People Charles completely ignored Harry's callsbe it asking for a favor or checking in together with his father.

Originally published: December 19, 2024 at 12:35 PM PST

When you hear a favourite holiday music, it’s possible you’ll not immediately associate it with CPR.

“You can really save a life just by doing simple chest compressions and pushing hard and fast,” he said. “And music can help you remember how fast is fast.”

The American Heart Association estimates that about 350,000 people within the United States who usually are not hospitalized every year experience cardiac arrest, by which the guts suddenly stops beating. If performed immediately, cardiopulmonary resuscitation can double or triple an individual's possibilities of survival by sending blood to the brain and other vital organs. But only an estimated 40% of individuals receive bystander CPR.

The first steps in performing CPR don’t involve music. “Anytime someone collapses and you can’t wake them up, you need to call 911 immediately,” Hafner said. Dispatchers can walk you thru the steps of CPR, even should you usually are not trained.

While one other person retrieves an automatic external defibrillator (AED) (if one is nearby), place the heel of your hand in the middle of your chest on the nipple line. Place your other hand on top and interlace your fingers. Start at a speed between 100 and 120 beats per minute.

Don't worry about being perfect, Hafner said. But this rhythm is very important. “If you walk too fast, the heart doesn't have enough time to fill with blood, and if you walk too slowly, not enough power is produced. So you want to be in the sweet spot between 100 and 120 compressions per minute.”

This is where it is useful to have some music in your head. “To make that possible, you need some kind of internal metronome,” said Hafner. “And everyone can hum a song in their head.”

Hafner led, amongst other things, Study 2015 A study published within the Journal of Emergency Medicine shows how people trained in cardiopulmonary resuscitation had higher results when taught to make use of the rhythm of the Bee Gees' “Stayin' Alive,” which has a tempo of 100 beats per minute. Since then, many other songs have been touted as potential lifesavers.

Dr. Jeffrey L. Pellegrino, an associate professor of emergency management and homeland security on the University of Akron in Ohio, said the strategy of using familiar music in CPR training works for several reasons.

“On the front end, it helps with training,” said Pellegrino, who led a Study review 2021 The value of using songs in CPR courses was examined. If a student already knows the song, it accelerates the educational process, he said.

And amid the stress of an actual emergency, “it's a shorter journey for our nervous system when we can remember something we already know,” Pellegrino said. “So that, ideally, we can respond better.”

The 100 to 120 beats per minute range is a “sweet spot” that takes into consideration the incontrovertible fact that not everyone has the right rhythm, he said. (People are inclined to progress slower than the actual songs.)

But to be well prepared, it’s worthwhile to know greater than just the catchy melodies.

“Frequency is just one of the quality components of CPR,” Pellegrino said. And while online videos like those from the AHA can teach the fundamentals, hands-on training provides essential practice in aspects corresponding to the depth of the squeeze (not less than 5cm). An easy option, he said, can be to gift someone a training course. Or usher in a CPR instructor to debate skills before the massive game or after dinner.

Learning cardiopulmonary resuscitation is particularly essential should you live with someone who’s prone to cardiac arrest, Hafner said. And anyone can perform CPR.

“You don’t have to be an adult to do it,” said Hafner. ” Children can do this. Teens can do that. It’s effective and helpful and really makes a difference.”

So provide the music. First, though, it's essential to notice that everybody has their favorite version of Christmas classics and the tempo varies depending on the performer. So while your personal playlist can include Andy Williams and Jimi Hendrix's “Little Drummer Boy” without cost, those are too slow for CPR, while versions by Justin Bieber and New Kids on the Block are too fast. But Bing Crosby's solo version (113 BPM) has the suitable beat.

Here are some Christmas songs with 100 to 120 beats per minute for performing CPR:

“Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms (120 BPM)

“I Am the Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Fletcher Jones (115 bpm)

“Jingle Bells” by Duke Ellington (109 BPM)

“El Burrito de Belén” (aka “Mi Burrito Sabanero”) by La Rondallita (105 bpm)

“Happy Joyous Hanuka” by the Klezmatics (116 bpm)

“Snowman” by Sia (105 bpm)

“Last Christmas” by Wham! (108 beats per minute)

“Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)” by Mariah Carey with Snoop Dogg and Jermaine Dupri (109 bpm)

“Eight Days of Christmas” by Destiny's Child (100 bpm)

“Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by NSYNC (105 bpm)

“Up on the Housetop” by Pentatonix (102 bpm)

“Santa Claus Doesn’t Know You Like I Do” by Sabrina Carpenter (100 BPM)

“Over the River and Through the Woods” by Alvin and the Chipmunks (109 BPM)

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy (110 BPM)

“Where Are You at Christmas?” by Faith Hill (109 BPM)

“Candlelight” by the Maccabeats (120 bpm)

“Ay, Ay, Ay It's Christmas” by Ricky Martin (112 BPM)

“Winter Wonderland” by Ray Charles (110 bpm)

“Dreidel” by Erran Baron Cohen with Jules Brookes (105 BPM)

“Christmas Time Is Here” by John Legend (112 BPM)

And to maintain things happening New Year's Eve, listed here are a couple of bonus tracks:

“In the Midnight Hour” by Wilson Pickett (112 BPM)

“Dance the Night” by Dua Lipa (110 BPM)

“The Final Countdown” by Europe (118 bpm)

“Same Old Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelberg (108 bpm)

“1999” by Prince (119 BPM)

©2024 American Heart Association, Inc., distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC

Originally published: December 16, 2024 at 12:47 PM PST